fall, fallin',

Cght in the mdle.

Saturday, February 28, 2009

Dear diary,

There are times when I just feel like pouring out everything on you, but I know it'd be too much and too many things would be revealed. I know your limitations more than anyone does, but I can't keep it to myself anymore. The thoughts are filling up my mind and in any time right now my head would look like an oversized balloon, wanting so much to explode. It all started with K. And ends with only K. Who knew that just one alphabet would mean so much, would hurt so much, would terrorize so many. If I were to admit that I'm all messed up, it probably wouldn't help, but what else am I to do than say that it is the truth?

Through the crowd, through the room, through my heart is a stabbed wound. I might never stand a chance, but I know what I have is much more than enough. I love it, I love the ways, but again, what else am I to do?

Stuck, trapped in a place so tiny, yet plays a huge role in determining my decisions. I hope it'd figure something out, something which will make everybody else happy.

The only person I want to tell, or told, is Gerald. Rara, top-up alright.

Through the crowd.

Friday, February 27, 2009

I might just be the most luckiest girl on Earth yesterday because my dad bought me the laptop I wanted. VAIO AND IT'S PINK! Not that I like pink or anything, but I just realized that almost everything I own comes in pink, so I guess it's just a girl's nature? Ya ya, you can now go laugh.

Tomorrow is Mum's birthday, didn't get anything for her though as I really have no money sia I swear. But not to worry, tomorrow will be like family day. Mum booked tickets for Slumdog Millionaire and after that, dinner :)

Nothing much to update about actually. Oh and Dian M. is in my malay class. Gerek or what right! As Syakil said, WAH CONFIRM KECOH!

Rollercoaster Ride.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Hello!

I've been paying full attention in class for the past three days. I'm loving this, Physics, Chem, Maths, Geog, shiokkkk. I look forward to everyday, to let the teachers pour all the interesting information on me, I love it all, but I just don't like my class. Swear. Ah. I'm in MI to study right? Spending time with my lovelies before and after school will do (:

And have I mentioned? My daddy bought me a new computer. Although it wasn't the one I wanted, I'm still satisfied because he bought a freaaaking Apple iMac desktop computer. Equipped with every single thing. Aaron says I'm a spoilt brat but I don't think so. MUAHAHAHA.

Today's geography lesson was the best. Gerald's in the same class as me! And so is ahem and ahem. Shocking. But awesome lah. Okay I know tomorrow will be full of fun. First period, PE! Then after sch, hockey! Can't wait, can't wait. And Raudah is thinking of trying out hockey. Don't worry I will persuade her to come tomorrow!

Eh anyway, happy 17th Hidayat! Hope you had a blast today with your friends :) Ok, I shall go try my webcam now. Hehe.

Sometimes I wonder.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

I stayed at home the whole of today, (plan with Nora was cancelled) and had a hell of a time thinking through some things, trying to sort them out all in a split second. Everyone seems to have so much fun, I don't know whether I have, but it seems like a lifetime, I want to feel blessed and appreciated..

Oh look, tomorrow's school, 2 days gone, I wonder if tomorrow will be as fast as today had been. Moodswings? Yep, who likes them?

Girls, meet up soon.

One day, Two days, Three days, Four da...

Saturday, February 21, 2009

I was supposed to meet up with Cheryl AND Raudah today, but Raudah's grandfather was admitted to hospital so she had to go rush back home and ditch us. HAHA. So I went ahead with my darling Cheryl, trained to City Hall and had our lunch at Marina Square's burger king. We were laughing away softly, only until this one guy sitting at the next table just had to burp so loud. By then we had to laugh out loud, too.

So today I finally bought my green Grays hockey stick, hockey ball, Adidas bag (which wasn't really a necessity) and a few bundled headbands. Bombed about more/less 100$, I will not spend anymore I promise ok. And hurray, this monday me and Cheryl will be going to school with new bagssss! Exciting.

It was great while it lasted.

It is the hardest word.

Friday, February 20, 2009

I've been spending about an hour trying to transfer the pictures from my hp to the pc. Installed the software and tried every other way but it didn't work. Got pissed off and gave up. So no pictures for today.

Today was half fun, half boring. We got into our new classes and everyone was separated. 3 at the other side of the stadium, and another 3 on the other side. I felt really left out because everyone in my class seemed to have at least 1 friend from their orientation group, while I don't. I mean, I have Towfiq lah but he had to go see the Principal. I don't like my class, and I swear I will grow to hate it too in days to come. I don't think I can find anyone whom I can interact with and most of them look like peanuts. Ok, whatever. At least I can study. Oh my class is 09S2. And I'm still not sure whether I belong to Onyx or Sapphire. I feel so torn because I haven't bought my PE shirt :(

Today is my best friend's birthday! But I couldn't make it today because of hockey. :( The backup plan was tomorrow, but since she's going out with her family, I'll just spend time with her on Sunday. AAAAAND TOMORROW I'M GETTING MY HOCKEY STICK! AN ORANGE ONE WILL DO. HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE. And I'll have to find my shin guard too. Everything except the turf shoes. GGGGGGGAH I CAN'T WAIT.

Hockey training was fun, can't wait for next wednesday! Ok ok fine I'll tell you, I got hit by one girl while playing the 20mins mini hockey game and my lips was bleeding :( Eh wait. At least I made history. First one to get injured right? Nyahaha.

Eye-candy?

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

If only I can remain like this forever. Contented, my mind clear of any doubts.

I finally grabbed some time yesterday to catch up with my secondary school sweethearts, Saras & Vicky. I'm so glad they are as funny as ever and I know they will do well this time round if they stay focus and all. (:

Okay so today after school, we went to Cineleisure to catch The Other End Of The Line with Raudah, Cheryl, Gerald, Aaron, Vicknesh & Simon. The movie was so-so, a little bit predictable, I think I'd rather watch Benjamin Button! :( Ok nevermind, shall catch it next week or something, haha.

Tomorrow school ends at 1725hrs, and after that there's still hockey. I wonder what time I'll get home.
-

Eye-candy was a tad bit late today.

Could only be you.

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Happy Valentine's Day, sweethearts (:

Yesterday was the PU1's first ever hockey tryouts. Yr 2/Yr 3 girls had to run 10 rounds around the stadium track, but because it was our first day, we had to only run 2 rounds. 2 rounds dah mcm nak mati ok. After that, chilled at the cafe with Dian M. and literally talked about SHITS and FARTS. We had a helluva time laughing our asses off and I think by then both Dian M and me discovered 6 packs when we got home muahahahahaha. (to those who don't understand: we laughed too hard till we get 6 packs. ada faham?)

Right, so next Wednesday will be our next training and I hope my tick-tock (refers to the dribbling ball thingy) would already be okay and my hands and my back will get used to everything. Sweating makes me miss Tchoukball so baddddlyyyyyyy :( And as I was wearing the ARE YOU FAST ENOUGH shirt, one of the track & field teachers stopped me when I was dribbling the ball around and we chatted about Tchoukball, she asked me how young I was. Heh. Noticed the term she used? HOW YOUNG ARE YOU AND NOT HOW OLD ARE YOU? So polite.

Okay last update about ystd's school: My whole big group was chased out AGAIN by the librarian for making too much a noise. 2 days in a row. And I'm glad I managed to pull Raudah from her ever-so-boring maths lecture. Nyahaha. We must have fun while we can. But next week, I think it's best if we attend all the tutorials SINCE we are all going to be in the same room for the 5 days.
-

A new eye-candy in school. No more ACS(I) or AMKS. Just a hockey player will do, thank you (:

Where are you?

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

School was enjoyable today, although me and Raudah accidentally embarrassed ourselves in the lecture room by laughing at a verrry high pitch, because Vicknesh and AJ just had to comment on some people. There's 2 dogs, both protecting their owner. One looks like a Filipino maid and the other looks like an Indonesian maid. Correct? Action giler babi step hot knnb ftard. Ok I'm done. Sometimes, I just need to express my feelings and thoughts. (:

After school, Dian A. (me!) and Dian M. (my friend) went to watch the hockey training. As I didn't bring my PE attire, we only tried passing and when I started to break into a sweat, I stopped. I don't want the people in the MRT smelling me and thinking that I have bad body odour! So today I went home with Dian M. and Shakira/Syakira (am not sure how to spell) by train because Raudah went to her art interview.

Nothing much to update about except.... I am fcking excited for Friday! We are going to join the girls for hockey training. Haha. Okay, tmrw History lecture with Raudah, although I feel like skipping it because I'm not going to take up History anyways.

Can't wait to strut my stuff on Friday like the 3 dogs. HAHAHA. I bet Raudah and Dian M. gets what I mean.

It belongs to only you.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

"How can I thank you enough for the first month you gave me? And the new elements of life you brought along with you to decorate the process, I cannot find the right words to say. Is it joy? Is it happiness? If it's not, then why do I still smile myself to sleep for 4 months now? A life with you, that's what I'll always dream of. And I'll never get tired of this dream."

I never wish to wake up. Thank you for taking me into your world.

Maybe it's best you leave me alone.

k hi.
k bye.
haha lame.
forgive me, i'm just tired ...... and frustrated...

So far, attended lectures for Chemistry, Maths, and Physics. Attempted questions from some topics and there are times when I couldn't catch up and the teachers JUST had to choose me to answer the question. Come on, get a life lah.

Today after school, we all went to Ang Mo Kio Hub to have our late lunch and then just went around aimlessly. Got my black headband now because just now during the morning assembly me and Raudah and some other girls got picked out because of our black socks. Eh come on lah teachers, don't be lame can, how can we wear white socks with black shoes? Unless you purposely want us to walk around looking like a clown right? F'tard. I don't care, tomorrow I still want to wear my black socks. Haha, no lah. Dian is surprisingly a good girl now. (:

I don't know what I'm going to do tomorrow after school ('cept send my other sch skirt for alteration), I hope we'll plan something fun to do. And I can't waitttttttt to start hockey. Now that I've stopped going for Tchoukball trainings :(, I have to join a sports cca to keep myself fit and healthy.
-

Over the months I knew you, I never thought you'd be such a coward. Has anyone ever taught you how to control your feelings? Do you think it will seriously work? By silently bottling up your feelings, and one night, you decided to just spill it all out. It's not right. And what, you're trying to escape from the truth now, by not replying me? Do you think all this is a joke? At least, tell me what's on your mind right now, tell me what's bugging you, 'cos I know it's about me. Don't take what we had up a level. We can only be friends now. You were too late..

You, like a star, is missing from the night sky.

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Today was funny. I was supposed to meet Raudah at 11am to collect our school skirts from the alteration shop. So yesterday I set my handphone alarm at 10am before I went to sleep, but I really couldn't wake up. I don't recall having any sweet dream but usually it wasn't very difficult for me to wake up. Right, I think I really wasted your time reading this whole paragraph, which in the end doesn't lead to any climax at all. I just thought I needed to share! ;D

THANK GOD tomorrow we can reach school at 8, and not 7.30! And tomorrow will be going to school with Raudah, Gerald, Aaron, Vicknesh. It will still be a long journey, nothing will change, but I have a feeling we will have a blast laughing over little things in the train like we always do.

Tomorrow is Physics lecture with Gerald *ahem ahem cough cough wink wink*. I'm a pessimist now so I take Gerald positively, as in at least I have a friend to talk to during the lecture if I get bored. (100% will!)

After school, meeting up with Nora at Bishan, omggggg I miss her and the 2 girls! When are we going out together again?!?!? :(
-

Yesterday was spent well with Syahida. First to Far East for lunch at Cahaya. AFTER EATING, IMPULSIVE SHOPPING! Bought a 30$ shirt, 15$ cap, 4$ bangles, 2$ purple headband. Then I asked Syahida to hold my wallet because I'm supposed to save money you see. The next destination was Esplanade, then it started to rain so we went to Marina Square then the rain stopped so we chilled outside Marina Square and managed to catch up on each other's lives.
-

"Don't let this feeling end, it might not come again.."

MI Rocks.

Saturday, February 7, 2009

We will, we will step you flat like a gingerbread and never let you step us back"

So the whole week of fun passed without me realising it and I really don't think I still have the same perspective as I have on the first day of orientation. Only after the fifth day, I really think that MI is the place I am destined to go to and I'm sure God has planned the rest of my life out for me smoothly and all I have to do is to be patient and give my all. (:

So anyways, me and Raudah bought our school uniforms on Thursday and have sent it for altering on the day itself. Fanatic? HAHA. If you want to know what's fanatic, take a look at the bunch of people who actually wore their new uniforms on Friday. Now that's fanatic gile babs.

There were a lot of things I did during the past few days but I just forgot to update about it when I was updating. Ok, I bombed around 200$ in a week already but that's good enough because I bought my Yak-Pak, Nike shoe, 2 sets of uniform and all the small little necessities I needed for school.

Yesterday's finale at school was the sex. The five of us (me, Raudah, Gerald, Aaron, Vicknesh) sticked to each other throughout the whole day and during the night, the whole of PU1 played Mystery Game. Went around the school in the dark and found "dead" bodies and all. Scared to death when I was one of the five to pick up the clue and suddenly the dead body with bloody long hair chose to threw herself at me and made me jump and cling on the wall like Scooby-doo.

One girl from another clan got freaked out and went hysterical and the whole going-to-get-exciting game just had to stop, but nevermind I forgive you :) Went back to the hall for prize presentation and our clan won the finaleeeeeee!! I woooooooooo wooooooooo shouted/screamed my lungs out even though I was really feeling dead tired. The last item for the day, was the MI dance again. This time, my partner didn't come so I went to dance with Simon, a Whitley Sec boy from my group. :D

Next week is lecture week and I can sense that it would be boring but I hope I won't get sleepy and just doze off. Lucky for me, I have Gerald to go to school with and sit in lectures with. I wonder who's going to ask me to go to lecture with him/her on Tuesday. Anyone? :D

I've wrote down my name in Touch Rugby and Hockey. But I'm not sure yet which one I'm going to choose. Haha. Either way, it's still going to be sports for me!

TO AIN/AISYAH/SITI

Stop all the nonsense already lah. I don't wish to reply anymore because everytime I do, it will spark a fight. And to Ain, the words you see at the top of my blog is not for Izzat. When I found this skin, the words are already there. So don't anyhow assume that those words are for him. And to Aisyah, you wrote about me, why can't I write about you? But anyway, I'm not going to write about you anymore because I never had a person who hates me before you. So yup you're the first one and I'm going to stop all this. And to Siti, just fuck off and shut up because you don't know anything and don't you call me "gegerl cin" anymore because I don't know what that means and I don't care but I sounds disgusting. Haha.

TO WANI

It's okay, it's not you, it's them. Anyway, I hope everything's going to be fine now. I'm trying to remain calm so yeah. We will all think back and reflect upon this and laugh it off in ten years time right? Hahaha. By the way, nice knowing you :) Nice people are very difficult to find nowadays. :D

7-letter word.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Just read someone's blog. News spread fast, huh?

I certainly do not have any feelings left for a boy like him. IF you insist on talking about your past with HIM, that's not my problem. IF he doesn't apologize to you, that's not my problem. IF you still can't accept the fact that he left you and the reason was not ME, that's not my problem. IF you don't believe that I didn't intend to snatch him away from you (which I didn't), that's not my problem. IF you want him back, TRY. I don't mind competition anyways. Haha.

IN ADDITION, I didn't even state anything about wanting to know so badly about updates on Izzat's life. HAHAHA. I'd rather not know anyways.

Not forgetting of course, you and your best friend are perfect. No faults. No flaws. Just plain perfect. I wish I were as perfect as both of you. tsktsk.

Overwhelming response.

Tomorrow will be the last day of the rah-rah (as Nurul puts it) orientation :(

I will definitely miss spending time with my Macedonian/Messy group/clan. Screaming our lungs out just to gain extra 50 bonus points, and going all out when playing games.

On Wednesday, we were taught the MI dance. No comments, people. Want to know, ask me! :D But all in all, I had great fun with my partner and fooled around with people and OGL leaders like Fathi and his partner (winks).

Okay now I'm excited. I wanna tell you people about one of the games we played just now! One of the games was like musical chairs. Except that each and every chair was filled with flour+egg+water!!!! So we basically went around the chairs and when the music stops, each and every one of us sits down on the chair and everyone kena the splash. All in all, I had so much fun can? Hahaha.

Tomorrow will be a vvvvv long day. 7.30am-8pm! Last day of orientation kan. And next week, will start lecture already. Shiat. I'm not ready. I still wanna cheer! Heh. Goodnight all. Tomorrow will be very tiring.

PS: I've stopped training people, so stop asking me when's my next training. :(

You just don't get it, do you?

Ain,

OOOOOOH MUHAMMAD IZZAT ISHAMUDDIN COMPLAIN TO YOU IS IT? BECAUSE YOU CAN'T POSSIBLY FIND MY BLOG RIGHT? ONLY CERTAIN PEOPLE KNOW THE WAY TO MY BLOG, AND THOSE ARE MY FRIENDSTER FRIENDS. AND YOU'RE NOT ONE OF THEM. HAHA. IZZAT, IZZAT. YOU UH, FROM LAST TIME TILL NOW THE SAME. OK OK, AIN, YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY I BLOODY HELL HAVE THE RIGHT TO HAVE A SAY IN THIS MATTER? YOU WANT TO KNOW RIGHT? NOT MY PROBLEM IF YOU GET HURT OK? LOL.

When your perfect boyfriend was still with Wani, he contacted me. And yes, when he was WITH you, he still contacted me. And said that he wants me back. Called me, talked on the phone till late night. If you don't believe, your pasal lah. I can sumpah demi Allah ok please. Don't tell me you still don't believe me when I swear already right? Lol. Your boyfriend tu, yang gatal nah dah ade 2 girls, masih nak aku lagi. Ish ish. Kesian kau. Lucky aku tak layan dia. I might just be one of his victims.

So next time don't anyhow spit things to me lah when you don't actually know what happened. Imagine if I fell for his sweet words. He would have 2 girlfriends!You and me. Cool right ain? We can be best friends. -_-"

Don't act like you got it all right. Please lah don't act clever can not? Ok I'm done. Do not tag at my blog anymore. You are not welcomed at all. OOOOH HARSH. LOL.

Messy messy sap sap oi.

Monday, February 2, 2009

The day started off with me feeling vvvvvv sleepy :(

Reached MI, sat down in my orientation group and observed every other student's faces. Lost. That was how I felt. Saw a few other familiar faces from KCP. Then a BPS girl sat behind me. Patted my back and we started talking like we knew each other for a lifetime. Raudah's the name.

The first part of orientation was slow, Principal talked, OM talked, dontknowwho talked. Took out my hp and saw a message which made me smile :) So, after an hour of never-ending speeches, we went to our respective homerooms. Had ice-breaking games and had super fun :)

Went home with Raudah after that, and now I'm at home. Early, huh. Wait till the 3rd/4th day. MUAHAHAHA. And after all this, I think I don't regret going to MI. Only some people know why... So I think I've made my mind up. It's either hockey or floorball for cca. I'm going to take up H2 Physics, Chem, Maths & H1 GP, Malay, PW. And Raudah will be with me like, for the rest of the 3 years man. Consider myself lucky ;D

Tomorrow will be the day I'm going to receive my school pin. And I'll have to wear it on the collar of my KCP uniform. KENTAL RIGHT I KNOW. Wait till I buy my new uniform on Wednesday. Made plans with Raudah to go send for altering. Yeahoo. I'm all set and ready to go.
-

Meeting Mum & Dad at 6 to buy my new school shoes. I hope I'd get something nice from Nike/Adidas. And have I mentioned? After months of being patient, Dad bought me my Levi's watch yesterday. How nice! Red colour. Baby's fav colour gitu lor. :)

Before I sleep tonight, I'm going to pray hard that tomorrow's orientation will end early like today 'cos I actually made plans with Nora/Shafiq/Haziq/&perhaps Nurul to do some school-shopping. Gonna get my Yak-Pak and do some catch-ups. How I miss going to school with my usual friends :(

"the smell of your hair, the taste of your kiss, these are the things that I'll always miss

the sound of your voice, the feel of your hand, they affect me in ways you'll never understand"

- yAtOz

You're a song to sing, a fantasy.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

About less than a week ago, I was browsing through some blogs and I came acrossed one, and to much suprise, I was too as hurt as she was. I felt more hurt for her, of course.

This guy obviously wasn't in his right mind (don't even know if he has one, though) because he down right cheated on his girlfriend and if if if if if IF I were to get caught up and tangled in his words, I would have been his victim too. I admit, I was about to believe him when I realised that I couldn't anymore. And phew, I might just be the lucky one here.

Omg Muhammad Izzat Ishamuddin, I can't believe that I'm actually writing your name down and embarrassing you, but you know what? I think I have the right to be doing this because I'm not just the normal girl you can talk sweetsss to. If you think your sob-story you told me the other time was going to work out, it didn't.

You're a jerk for hurting (your ex-girlf), and you're a dumbwit for trying to hurt me. Oh no. I'm sorry if your girlfriend read this. Hope she wouldn't make a stupid move, too. HAHA.
-

On a lighter note, me and my family just came back from one of our relative's house warming at Toa Payoh. Gobbled up food, oh yummy food and spent hours there then came back home.

Tonight I will have to force myself to sleep at 2200hrs 'cos I have to be at Bukit Batok mrt station by 7. Then, going to MI for orientation with Dian and her friend, Yan Qing (hiiiii new friend!) Heh.

Right, have a good day all :)