I was already up at 0930hrs today (unbelievable but true), bathed and went to meet Shasha at City Hall. Headed to TP, THE PLACE WHERE ALL MY HOPES CAME CRASHING DOWN LIKE A METAL BIRD.

And now, I'm still thinking of Millenia Institute, because of what the lecturer said just now. And to add to the misery, Grandma called Mummy just now and told her bad news regarding her health. I was waiting for the bus home after some time spent with Nora/Nurul just now when Mummy rang me. I wanted to just breakdown right there, in the middle of the interchange. But I tried to hold back my tears.

"And I'm saying this for the first time, come what may. I will accept anything that you bestow upon me, with an open heart."

That bunch of words above was posted yesterday. But right now, just after 15 hours of careful thinking, I don't know if I'm ready for all this. I thought it would make things better, but why must it be so unfair for me? I've never felt this scared before, scared of losing someone dear to me.

I know it's very wrong of me to say that it's unfair. Therefore. I will try my best to be with her every step of the journey. To give her the love she needs at this time of her life. I'm not ready for any of this to happen. I'm not ready for her to go. But I know You will do what's right.

I pray that You will give me and my beloved Grandma the faith to carry on and fight this. Because she is one of the people I love most in my life. If You were to take her away from me, I will never know what to do.

Don't take her away from me.