The song you are currently listening to is titled Seindah Hatimu by my friend Muhammad Izzat Ishamuddin. Nice right, nice right. Hahahaha. Actually I haven't let him know that I'm using his song as my blog song. It's only for a while, anyway. I'll tell him soon, confirm he excited. Enjoy readers!

TWO MORE PAPERS. HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE.
-








O's is still ongoing, yet I'm wasting my whole afternoon here checking out blogs, viewing my friendster friends and unconsciously searching for funny videos on YouTube.com

I can finally see a faint glint of light at the end of the tunnel. Then end of O's is coming. 11 more days, muahaha.

I can't believe someone like you can actually change.

You wasn't supposed to be a __. But now you are, and I'm involved. I don't want to get involved. I guess what you say is right. People do change with time. I know you did. When things were still perfect, I thought it'd always stay that way. But I should have known, I shouldn't have made hasty assumptions about you.

Just try to fix your heart. And your mind.
While doing that, don't forget to think of __'s feelings. Because it's not all about you anymore.

Izzy, I hope you can get to read this :)

I'm glad we're friends now, really. I'm happy about the fact that we are able to put everything behind us. Yeah, I miss hanging out with you. But for now, we will stay as friends because you know the truth, right? I have no control over my feelings. I don't think anyone has.

I look forward to spending my time with you after O's. Take care, kawan.

Ayon, ayon.

Are you actually calling someone childish? Eh you free or not uh? Go to the mirror, point at yourself and laugh, go.

Da lah tag takde name. Berani kau tag, tapi tak berani letak name sendiri. Eh sudah lah pmpn, aku tak de mase nak layan kau.

You told the other passerby (who has common sense), to not stick her nose into OUR problem. Eh? OUR problem ke? I don't think so. I think it's more like a problem which involves DIAN BTE AZIZ, NURAISYAH BTE RAHMAT & MUHAMMAD HIDAYAT BIN HAMZAH. If you're not any one of the people stated, you're the one who is a busybody.

And anyway, SHE had already moved on and I think that it is a wise decision for her to make. And you know what? I think you should also drop this and move on, even though it doesn't affect you at all.

Eh serious uh. I think I've run out of words for you. You're the best uh. The best in the world. The most perfect being in the whole wide world. Kalau aku ade medal, aku nak present kat kau uh.

Kalau aku buka dictionary pun eh, aku rase takde word lain yang boleh describe kau uh. Pasal kan dari pandangan kau, aku yang paling kaninabechaochibai pe. Kau yang perfect pe. Anything uh. Kau menang uh sundal. Gasak kau uh.

Aku sabar je. Aku tahu aku tak bersalah kat kau. Aku doa kau akan dapat Karma. Sheesh. Org mcm kau tak perlu uh nak kasi belas kasihan. Haktui.

Dah habis baca belum? Kalau dah, jalan uh. Picit tu button at your top right hand corner of the screen.

"Do you know you're unlike any other?
You'll always be my thunder, and I said
Your eyes are the brightest of all the colors"

I am happy, I am satisfied. Yes, I'm glad I talked things out with her. It's done. Over. I want a new beginning. And I don't see anything wrong in giving happiness another shot. I'll make sure I'll savour every moment of it.

And Hidayat, I'm glad we made it through. (:

Labels: Happy now

I'm going out for art class in like 10 minutes, yet I'm still here updating and typing as fast as I can. Hahahaha!

I'm going to be a well-organized person today.
I will stay for art until 2, then rush home and have my lunch and start studying Physics.
Then at 6, I will check how many topics I have covered.
If it's good enough, I will go to Bedok and meet my cousins.
If it's not good enough, I will stay at home and study more, then just go straight to Changi Airport alone.
I will carry out this plan, trust me. I own this.
Lol. I just needed to say that. Okay byebye all!

"Love happens when the happiness of your other half is essentially your own"

I love the effect of you.

I am stupid. Stupid, I tell you. So bloody careless. I hate myself. English paper tomorrow, I hope I won't flunk this one. After that, still can jolly-jolly eat at KFC. Bloody fool. I feel like dying. I'm not exaggerating. But I can't help to laugh at Natazsha's foolish antics just now. This is really the reason why I love my friends.

This is very frustrating.
Apart from the 2 hours plus of waiting in the Quarantine Room, I think I flunked my Practical.
Tutor's begging me to calm down and trust my observations, but I'd rather listen to the results of what the others got. Shit.

Just one simple question: What can you conclude about Salt T?
I blanked out, I tell you.
Was it Lead(II) Chloride or Ammonium Chloride? Shit shit.

But, now's certainly not the time to regret.
The very first part of O's is over.
What I've got to do now is to polish up on the other components.
I've got to save myself. Shit shit shit.

Someone just pulled my self-esteem down.
I must now stop procrastinating and get on with revision.

Just got back from 3 hours of Chemistry class.
I must say, it wasn't beneficial at all.


1 more hour to Math tuition.
5 more hours to Science tuition.
48 more hours to Science Practical.


The pressure's killing me.

I don't know why some people try so hard to get what they want.

Maimon,
I'm pretty very absolutely definitely sure that I know what I'm doing. I know I shouldn't be so sure only after exactly one month knowing him. I do have doubts after reading your constant tags, who doesn't? I also get affected at times, I keep asking him question after question, and he keeps on clearing my doubts, and he keeps on asking me to stop feeling that way. The cycle continues and will never stop if you keep on making things difficult for someone whom you don't even know. Yes you're right, I'm not that type of girl whom passerbys accuse of stealing people's boyfriend. I never did and never will. I did not steal his feelings for her away, he felt that his feelings for her had vanished. I might have felt guilty the first time I read her blog, but after much thinking and after hearing the correct facts from the right sources, I convinced myself that I'm never responsible for their separation.

I just want to be happy, I could repeat that a million times, I really want to. In my past relations with any boy, I have never felt this happy. I never had the chance to feel what other girls feel. Now, he makes me happy. So please, go away.

I can't sleep.
I keep thinking about everything.
Had I done anything wrong?
Did I hurt anyone's feelings?
If I did, I didn't mean to.
I just want to be happy, for the first time in my life.


To hatetaggers, this post does not mean I'm finally giving up.
If you want, try your luck again.

"We could leave this town and run forever"

-

I've decided. I want a clear mind.
Thank you Nora, for being the bestest friend in the world.
I could never ask for more, I love you.

-

H.
I hope you're for real, I really do.

I'm still staying strong, because you asked me to.
I wanna stay happy beacuse you want me to.

-

Eh hi girl, aku tak carik pasal ngan kau, kau jgn carik pasal ngan aku uh.
Aku da tak tulis pasal kau dlm blog aku, so kau ni shld have some respect for me.
Jgn sampai aku naik gile, aku da sot, aku tulis pasal kau.
Oh too bad, aku da nak tulis ni pasal kau. "*OOPPS!"

Anyw yah mmg ade baaaaanyak ikan dlm laut, asal aku pancing dia?
Oh you got it wrong uh pmpn, die yg pancing aku. Pakai otak dulu sebelum ckp.
Btw aku nye pasal uh nak letak gmbr kite mane mane aku nak.
Menyusahkan kau ke? Anyw you shld know what.
Klua ngan dia, confirm dia nak amek gmbr. Is it against undang2? Hahaha!

Aku takde ape2 nak ckp skrng, aku da nak klua jumpe dia.
So kite da promise each other, we wont say YOUR name or ADRIANO's name anymore.
Kalau kau tak happy skrng, AKU NAK HAPPY OK?

Bye.

-

Eh hatetaggers, korang nak tag, tag uh.
Aku tahu bile aku on computer teros aku gi cbox aku, beh delete korang nye tags.
Happy tagging. Puaskan hait korang go! hahahaha!

Stop the calls.
I can't afford to listen to your voice again.

-

H.
I will never leave you, I promise.
Nothing will happen, and none of my feelings will fade away.
By the end of this month, everything will go back the way it was.



Be patient, dear.

Eh hatetaggers, open your eyes big big. This one's especially for you la. Cb. Accuse pple of stealing him away from her. Read and analyze ok?

Dian: Is it true that you spent the 3rd month anniversary with her when you were contacting me?

Hidayat: Yes, I did. But at that time I told myself not to tell her that I had no feelings for her on that day. So I told her the next day.. And then at that time, I just got your number. So yeah memang it looked like I mcm busted gitu tapi it's my feelings and nobody can control it. I had no feelings for her anymore at that time, and nobody can make me like her back.

-

So what's the truth now?
He didn't contact me and her at the same time.
So stop talking crap ok.

Passerby.
I bet you had a lot of feelings that you kept when you read my blog and just could not let it out until I inserted a tagboard. I am really sorry, but I am the type of person who gets all fired up easily, so don't test my patience okay? If there's really anything you want to question me, please send me an E-mail.
Thank you.

"And so, Sally can wait, she knows it's too late as we're walking on by..."

-

Muhammad Adriano B Rizal
If you ever get a chance to read this, don't regret.


When you first said your promises on 16th April 2007, I thought my life was all about you. I was caught up in your world, a place so small and narrow. I only thought about myself, you, you and you. I never really thought people did exist around us. A few months into our relationship, I knew I made the wrong choice, I knew I was cheated, I knew I was stupid. Still, I continued on when you said you were sorry. I believed your words and was too narrow-minded back then. Months after, the same damn thing happened again, but I still persevered, mainly because I believed that I loved you. My parents were watching me like a hawk watching over its predator. They took care of me and they knew somehow that you weren't the boy I thought I saw through my eyes.

Yes, we got through 1 year 3 months together, but I always thought to myself, what did I really mean to you? I did not know what you did, but you got into remand prison. I made a vow to myself, I thought I wanted to wait for you, no matter how long it takes. I made plans with your mother to bring me to visit you often. I woke up early almost every morning during schooldays to go all the way to Queenstown to visit you, then back to Bishan for my mock papers. You seemed so happy to see me, you flashed me a bright smile everyday, but what had that meant to you? Was it just something that you thought would make me stay happy and satisfied? Yes, at that time, seeing you smile was the ultimate thing that could make me happy, but if it wasn't for me, why must you do that? I sacrificed my days to come and visit you, and when you're on bail, you don't even thank me. You contact me back for God knows what, and make my life bloody difficult again?

When you was still in prison, Aisha, your ex, texted me and told me that you had a relationship with her on January this year. If I'm not wrong, weren't you in a relationship with me? But that didn't matter to me much, because she did not know about me too and she apologised to me for being the third party, but I had forgiven her, and told her not to be stupid next time and not to foolishly believe these kind of guys. I made up my mind after Aisha texted me, I didn't want to wait for you, I didn't want to waste my time on someone like you.

And hell, I was right. I'm glad I made the decision, and not you. I regret this, I regret you. You had ruined not only my life, but also my other relationships. I really hate you, really really hate you.

-

TO ADRIANO :
Eh fucker,kau da kenape? Kau da tak boleh accept the fact that aku da give up on kau? Kau skrng da boleh get lost la dgn pmpn2 kau yg beribu2 tu!! Cbbbbbbb get lost laaaaaa! Jgn kacau aku lagi!!!!! Kalau kau tak dpt baca ni post, aku tak pasal! Aku puas kalau aisha kau tu dpt baca! Dia sayang kau sgt kn, cb! Both also can go mampos sudaaaah!

TO AISHA :
Knnbccb! Aku da ckp ngan kau ape, dulu kau pernah kene tipu dari si cb tu, asl masih nak dgr ckp dia? Kau nak dgr ckp dia,aku tk pasal. Tapi jgn sampai aku nmpk msg kau lagi eh aku ckp dgn kau! Kau da kene tipu dari dia,kau masih nak ikot je ape dia ckp! Takde harga diri ke ape uh pmpn? Kau msg aku jgn contact riano lagi? Eh cb! Buka mata kau besar2 la! Siape yg kat bawah rumah aku smlm pagi2? Siape yg dtg interchg sengaje nk bbl dgn aku? Siape yg mati2 nak aku angkt call dia,reply msg dia! Eh kau dgr sini eh,kau tak tahu ape2,jgn nak step faham msg2 aku mcm gitu lar eh! Kau byk besar pe nak msg aku tu mcm? Aku nanti naik gile,kau susah siaaakk! Cbbbbbbai! Lepas aku da baca msg kau,aku teros call kau, kau taknak angkat! Pengecut pe pmpn? Pmpn mcm kau kalau takot,jgn msg aku!! Kau belom tahu aku org die mcm mane kalau da bikin sot mcm gini!! Knn! Kau msg aku lagik satu kali, aku bagi tunjok bapak aku, bapak aku carik kau, mesti kene sedap2 nye! Cb! Good luck dgn dino sial, confirm bad luck nye dgn dia! Hahaha! Selamat hari raye aisha! Cb!

Pardon me for the words, readers.

Hi mummy.
I really don't know how to talk to you anymore; you don't give me a chance to.

-

You have been my pillar of strength since the day I was born. God gave me life, you gave me love. I lived through it because of you. I was never close to dad, because you are the one person whom I am comfortable with. I could talk to talk you about almost everything. I realized that you had sacrificed so much for me, you had given me so many chances to prove others wrong, you had given me a glint of hope which was almost too fragile. I did not make use of it, I was wrong. I thought I was strong. You told me before that you know me better than anyone else in the world. But I did not believe you. I thought he was the one who knew me better. You had to leave me be and let me do my mistakes, just so I could taste my medicine.

All things happen for a reason. I thank God for giving me my last chance on 3rd October. I know it will be the last. I know I will never hurt you again, not for anything in the world. Mummy, I love you so much. Please take back your words, please believe me again. I swear, I will never try to hurt you anymore. Just go back to your own self, just talk to me. I miss you. I miss hearing the slight laugh when I hold your hand, I miss the bright glint in your eyes, I miss the times spent on the sofa with you, talking about Forever.

Please come back. I will never fail you.